When the dream of spending a lifetime together with the person you once thought you loved dies, children are often left with a broken life and may have to suffer for decisions they had no part in making.
“Family laws focus on the best interests of the child when making custody decisions to ensure that they suffer the least disruption and get the best possible life even after divorce. As such, the judge may ask the children questions to guide their decision-making,” says family lawyer Allen Russell of Atlanta Divorce Law Group.
Questioning Children Requires Skill
Dealing with children in distressing circumstances requires skill. As such, the judge must be well-versed in interviewing kids and evaluating their responses to get the most out of the interviews.
Sometimes, they will be candid, making the judge’s job easy. At other times, they may be scared and unpredictable. Either way, the judge must be prepared with the best approach to get the most out of them while ensuring they are as comfortable as possible.
Judges often do an in-camera interview with only the court reporter and the child’s guardian ad litem present.
The Timing of the Questions
Children view parents as a unit. All they know is that their laundry is done, there is always food during meal times, they attend school, and all other needs are met. Upon separation, children notice the difference and can know which parent does what best.
For example, if the mom was in charge of the cooking, living with the dad alone could bring that out. So judges prefer that the children have lived with the separated parents before interviews because it helps better observe each parent’s distinctiveness and how well they play their parental roles. The judge then relies on these observations to decide custody and visitation arrangements.
What Questions to Ask
As mentioned earlier, working with kids requires skill, and a large part of that skill is knowing the right questions and when to ask them. Initial questions are usually meant to put the child at ease. So, the judge may start with questions about themselves; for example, they could seek to know about the child and their family. They could also go into things like their likes and dislikes, what activities they enjoy, their last vacation, etc.
Once they are settled in and no longer closed up, the judge may take the interview a notch higher by asking questions pertinent to the family situation. The judge can find out what the child thinks of each parent’s parenting style, their favorite way of spending time with each parent, what they love most about each parent, what they dislike, and who plays what role best. According to experts, interview questions should stick to ‘how,’ ‘who,’ ‘what,’ and ‘where’ but never ‘when’ since a child’s sense of time may only fully develop once they are eleven.
Evaluating the Answers
Judges do not rely on direct answers from children, as they may not be fully aware of what’s best for them. Instead, they evaluate the answers to determine whether the child is suitable to meet his or her physical and emotional needs.
For example, a child may consider a parent who is a little strict on diet, bedtimes, homework, and screen time less favorable.
To the courts, these traits may demonstrate better parenting because the idea of interviewing children during a divorce and custody battle is not to get the child to decide with whom they want to live but to help the court understand each parent’s stability and a child’s best interests.
